Thank you for having me, Rachel Clar, Esq.! I enjoyed that conversation on the power of authenticity very much, and I found the engagement from our wonderful attendees so affirming. Thank you for being you.
Watch the video replay here.
The more you try to fit in, the easier it is to be undervalued.
You sit in silence as he mispronounces your name again, because correcting him feels riskier than letting it slide.
This is the invisible tax so many women in BigLaw still pay.
Not because they lack skill.
Because they were taught to shrink to stay safe.
Rachel coaches BigLaw women across the AmLaw 200.
Roy leads marketing inside a global firm and has lived this firsthand.
On Wednesday, December 10 at 1 pm ET/noon CT, join Rachel Clar, Esq. and Roy Sexton for:
Coming Out as Yourself in BigLaw: Strategy Over Sanitizing
We will unpack how your identity can support your strategy in the rooms that decide your future.
This Live is for attorneys who want to:
→ Speak directly without being labeled difficult
→ Ask for resources in ways that raise your status
→ Decline misaligned work without whispers about your lack of dedication
This session sets the stage for a deeper dive in winter 2026, where you can learn to use your voice in ways that shift outcomes inside your firm.
All registrants get The BigLaw Power Moves Cheat Sheet, which includes ten strategic cues to get yourself heard in high-stakes moments.
P.S. Which moment feels most familiar:
Being talked over.
Being labeled “too direct.”
Being the default note taker.
Being the token woman in the room.
Or saying yes because no feels dangerous?
P.S. I received this lovely note from an attendee …
I completely loved your and Rachel’s session — and found SO MUCH of it to resonate deeply within me. Here are just a few of the MIC-DROP statements you made that I wrote down! 🎤💥
–the importance of *earning* the right to express more and more of one’s unique authenticity through work quality and reliability
–how you used compassion, humbleness and humor in response to someone butchering your name to convert that challenging moment into a critical bonding/trust moment with him
–don’t look to the company who is paying you to define who you are (boom!!)
–the hidden cost of sanitizing oneself and the profound effects of doing so on mental health, anxiety and overall thriving
–WTF happens in law school such that it spits out people who are in a frantic race to be the first to be second?!? LOL!! #truth
–one can have an abundant mindset in a world/environment of scarcity through authenticity (can I add another BOOM!!??)
–distinguishing between non-negotiables in one’s identity and “gravy” — and how this directly dictates one’s energy and passion
–how you were using your gayness as a lens to signal to everyone else who is feeling othered to be themselves
–the right people will COME TO YOU when you are in your authentic self
🥹🥹🥹
P.P.S. Rachel’s summary …
You don’t have to be all things to all people.
Because then you’re nothing to no one.
Thank you, Roy Sexton, for sharing so many pearls on yesterday’s Live, 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗢𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝗶𝗴𝗟𝗮𝘄: 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴.
Here are a few that stayed with me:
1️⃣ 𝗢𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵, 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯.
2️⃣ 𝗢𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺
𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.
3️⃣ 𝗢𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻
𝘈 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦-𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵.
4️⃣ 𝗢𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺. 𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴.
𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘺, “𝘞𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.”
5️⃣ 𝗢𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂
𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨.
𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺?
6️⃣ 𝗢𝗻 𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘀 (𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘀)
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦.
7️⃣ 𝗢𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁
𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦.
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 —
𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵-𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲?
Authenticity isn’t a branding exercise.
It’s the foundation of trust — for your clients, your firm, and for yourself.
𝗪𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁?
