“Bring me my TV pantsuit.” Masters of the Universe and Stop! That! Train!

Happy Pride, y’all! I have a tendency to schedule my filmgoing in obsessive bursts. If I see a block of time and can figure out how to squeeze two movies in *just so.* I do it. This has resulted in some nightmarish double feature pairings. For example, Noah and The Grand Budapest Hotel (I’m still nauseous from that experience) or Coraline and The Reader (that one caused pure psychological whiplash). This brings me to what will likely be the (inadvertently) gayest double feature I’ve navigated: Masters of the Universe and Stop! That! Train! Loin cloths and drag queens and Sarah Michelle Gellar, oh my!

I’m a child of the 80s. When we got HBO for the first time (maybe around 1982 or so?), you’d get a little glossy booklet every month, teeming with entertainment ‘round the clock. There were always one or two big splashy blockbusters to draw you in, and then … a whole LOT of d-list 80s dreck. I would dutifully circle every showing of Star Wars and ET and The Neverending Story but also Xanadu and Krull and Flash Gordon. And I would watch them all over and over and over and over. I suppose that’s why my brain is a block of day-glo Swiss cheese to this day.

Masters is an unapologetic throwback to those (very) financially unsuccessful fantasy films of the Reagan era – Flash Gordon particularly – and Stop! That! Train! is essentially (also unapologetically) Airplane! but with drag queens … on a train. And with that low bar to entry in mind, both work reasonably well. Ten year old Roy would have watched both movies 98 times in one summer while my horrified parents stared on in disbelief they’d raised a child with such dodgy taste. Fifty three year old Roy will have seen both of these movies once, will likely buy the DVDs for “collecting sake,” but admittedly was neither fully transported nor utterly delighted by either. Try as I might to tap into my misspent youth while watching these films, I just couldn’t get there.

And that’s a shame. I don’t know if that says more about me, the fraught cultural moment in which we perpetually find ourselves, or the performative goofiness that afflicts both films. It’s clear that Travis Knight (director of Masters) and Adam Shankman (director of Stop! That! Train!) are as informed by the same oeuvre (can I even really call it that?) as I. But neither of them quite land the oomph to bring these influences full circle in a way that acknowledges the past while connecting with arguably savvier audiences today.

Masters clearly aspires to have its cake and eat it too (a la Barbie), simultaneously lampooning and celebrating its source material while weaving in a modern message about overcoming toxic masculinity with empathy and heart and self-effacement. But unlike BarbieMasters is missing a certain sparkle or joie de vivre. I wish I could pinpoint where it misses the mark. Perhaps in aping the very plodding structure of a throwback like Krull, the film kneecaps itself by tying a nostalgic boat anchor around its neck. Sorry (not sorry) for the mixed metaphor. The visuals are there, the Easter eggs are plentiful, and Nicholas Galitzine does a bang-up job as the follicularly blessed, muscle bound, fish-out-of-water protagonist He-Man. Honestly, he deserved a much punchier script to match the gorgeous production design.

As for Stop! That! Train!, RuPaul is (naturally) the best thing in a film that likely should have just been a hourlong special episode of Drag Race. While I kept a stupid smile on my face for the entire film, I only laughed out loud about 3.5 times. And those guffaws were when the criminally underused Ru appeared onscreen. I would giddily watch two hours of RuPaul strutting around the White House as the sassy glamazon President Gagwell. Dealing with the “national crisis” of a runaway train barreling through literally EVERY possible calamitous weather front in the meteorologist’s lexicon, Ru commands “bring me my TV pantsuit” as she’s about to address an angry press corps. I *may* have snorted at the line delivery. Ru is an utter delight, and I wish the filmmakers, rather than go the tired route of Mad! Magazine-style spoof, would have written a sharp satire about our tumultuous political age centered around the spicy, stylish delivery of Ru. Le sigh.

If wishes were horses, we all would ride. Or something like that.

Better luck next time, Hollywood. Maybe pair President Gagwell with He-Man for the sequel. And actually write a decent script for them both.

Countdown: 12 Years a Slave

From my wonderful publisher Open Books

Only 2 days remain until the official release of ReelRoyReviews, a book of film, music, and theatre reviews, by Roy Sexton!

Please note that, in addition to online ordering, the book currently is being carried by Green Brain Comics in Dearborn, Michigan and by Memory Lane Gift Shop in Columbia City, Indiana. Memory Lane also has copies of Susie Duncan Sexton’s Secrets of an Old Typewriter series.

Here’s what Roy thought about 12 Years a Slave: “…a haunting portrait of an America in which religious fervor (and hypocrisy) corrosively coupled with economic disparity prop up a cruel caste system whereby our humanity is a commodity traded too easily for blood and cash.”

Learn more about REEL ROY REVIEWS, VOL 1: KEEPIN’ IT REAL by Roy Sexton at http://www.open-bks.com/library/moderns/reel-roy-reviews/about-book.html. Book can also be ordered at Amazon here.

Countdown: Her

From my wonderful publisher Open Books

My childhood home

My childhood home

The countdown continues! 6 days remain until the official launch of ReelRoyReviews, a book of film, music, and theatre reviews, by Roy Sexton!

Thanks to Kat Kelly-Heinzelman (read her blog here) for her friendship and support! She writes, “Check out my new profile picture; I think you will like it, Roy. LOL! Hope you’re having a good day … I love it [Reel Roy Reviews]. Have been reading since I got it. Good so far!”

Please note that, in addition to online ordering, the book currently is being carried by Green Brain Comics in Dearborn, Michigan and by Memory Lane Gift Shop in Columbia City, Indiana. Memory Lane also has copies of Susie Duncan Sexton’s Secrets of an Old Typewriter series.

Kat Kelly-Heinzelman

Kat Kelly-Heinzelman

Here’s a snippet from Roy’s review of HER: “Phoenix works those limpid blue eyes of his, falling head over heels for a sweet-and-saucy, ever-evolving artificially intelligent ‘operating system’ (voiced by Scarlett Johansson, turning in some of the better work of her career).”

Learn more about REEL ROY REVIEWS, VOL 1: KEEPIN’ IT REAL by Roy Sexton at http://www.open-bks.com/library/moderns/reel-roy-reviews/about-book.html. Book can also be ordered at Amazon here.

Driving our collective spirit underground: Her and 12 Years a Slave

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[Image Source: Wikipedia]

Whenever the Academy Award nominations are announced, I suddenly feel pressure … like I’m in college again and I have an imminent final exam for which I haven’t read one chapter in our assigned texts the whole semester.

Blessedly, the various movie studios’ marketing departments kick into overdrive at Oscar time, and many movies we might have missed the first time around get a second run in theatres (and not only the art houses, but in those big stadium jobs with the good/lousy Sbarro pizza).

So, my Martin Luther King Day was spent in the multiplex for one of my stranger double feature combinations: Spike Jonze’s Her and Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave. This duo still doesn’t to compare to my high (low?) watermark when I paired the childlike whimsy of stop-motion animation Coraline with the Nazi-in-hiding sexual perversity of The Reader … I felt like such a creeper that day.

At first blush, Her and 12 Years a Slave would seem to bear little in common, other than critical acclaim and multiple Oscar nominations, including Best Picture. However (and I don’t think this is just because I am force-fitting patterns that might not otherwise exist), both films, in very different ways and settings, address the disconnect that has long-plagued American life, in which religion or economics or technology engender empty separations and cruel abuses (physical, emotional, or plain neglectful), driving our collective spirit underground.

In the case of Her, which I found a slightly stronger film, Jonze paints a depressing near future – not quite dystopian, but burnished and bland and beautifully designed as if IKEA and Dwell Magazine bathed the world in minimalist chic – in which smart phone technology has become so integrated into our every waking moment that every human interaction is filtered and measured by a handheld device.

Looking like the nebbish-y hipster offspring of Charlie Chaplin and Kurt Vonnegut, Joaquin Phoenix is deeply affecting as a Byronesque romantic lost in a sea of bits and bytes after his author wife (Rooney Mara, continuing her sharp-edged roll) leaves him. Phoenix’s Theo just wants to feel something … anything

As you are likely aware from the ubiquitous advertising, Phoenix works those limpid blue eyes of his, falling head over heels for a sweet-and-saucy, ever-evolving artificially intelligent “operating system” (voiced by Scarlett Johansson, turning in some of the better work of her career).

Amy Adams plays the third woman in Theo’s life, a longtime friend (and likeliest soul-mate of all), who also struggles to find meaningful interaction in a world where all the rough edges have been sanded to apathetic perfection. Adams shines in her scenes with Phoenix, and I enjoyed her performance here as Theo’s fellow lost soul so much more than I did her work in American Hustle.

The film borrows heavily from the aforementioned Vonnegut (Harrison Bergeron popped into my mind for some reason) as well as Ray Bradbury (I Sing the Body Electric) with a touch of Cyrano de Bergerac and Stanley Kubrick’s HAL for good measure. Theo spends his days composing hand-written notes for folks too busy to compose these missives themselves. (He doesn’t actually do the penmanship, but dictates into a computer that generates them.) And he spends his evenings, in an empty/disheveled apartment with fabulous views of downtown L.A., playing video games, pining for his ex, and wooing his computer.

Her is a starkly composed ode (and cautionary tale) to a society (ours) that has lost its heart, displacing flesh-and-blood dialogue with glib texts, microblog snark, and social media stalking. I don’t know that I loved it, but I sure can’t stop thinking about it.

Description: Film poster; Source: Wikipedia [linked]; Portion used: Film poster only; Low resolution? Sufficient resolution for illustration, but considerably lower resolution than original. Other information: Intellectual property by film studio. Non-free media use rationales: Non-free media use rationale - Article/review; Purpose of use: Used for purposes of critical commentary and illustration in an educational article about the film. The poster is used as the primary means of visual identification of this article topic. Replaceable? Protected by copyright, therefore a free use alternative won't exist.

[Image Source: Wikipedia]

If Her worries about where American society is headed, 12 Years a Slave shows us where we’ve been and possibly how little we’ve changed. 12 Years a Slave gives us a haunting portrait of an America in which religious fervor (and hypocrisy) corrosively coupled with economic disparity props up a cruel caste system whereby our humanity is a commodity traded too easily for blood and cash.

I respect the work McQueen has done with this story, based on Solomon Northup’s 1853 memoir. I will say, however, that I am not as transfixed by 12 Years a Slave as others seem to have been. Perhaps my judgment is affected by how delayed I am in getting to see this one, a film that couldn’t possibly live up to the expectation generated by months of critical praise.

Personally, I also have long-struggled with the idea of the very important historical film – be it Schindler’s List or Saving Private Ryan or others like them – the subject matter of which is so rightfully raw that one might feel discouraged to openly criticize the filmmakers’ artistic interpretation.

Regardless, this movie is extremely well-acted and, once it finds its narrative groove, is a powerful gut punch. I mostly had issues with the episodic and unconvincing (to me) first third of the film, from the set-up of Northup’s life as a free man in Saratoga, New York through his kidnapping in Washington, D.C., and onto his purchase by Benedict Cumberbatch’s character. (Yup, Cumberbatch again. I hope he earns a long vacation after the 118 films in which he appeared this year. He has been excellent in everything.)

Once Northup (portrayed with a weary incredulity by Chiwetel Ejiofor) lands with the cruel, equally defeated slave master Epps (Michael Fassbender) the movie has you on the edge of your seat. Fassbender does his best work to date, channeling the small-minded rage and belligerence of a Southerner deeply disaffected by life yet believing his faith and his race entitle him to bullying dominion over all creatures great and small. Sarah Paulson is equally crackerjack as his spiteful, heartbroken, spoiled belle of a wife.

The scenes between Ejiofor and Fassbender twist like a knife in the gullet, and viewers with modern sensibilities may reflect on how little some aspects of our country have changed since the horrific days when slavery was an American institution. Lupita Nyong’o is heartbreaking as Ejiofor’s fellow slave – an object of Fassbender’s economic admiration, sexual depravity, and violent tyranny – who is doubly damned for her race and her gender.

In this hectic awards season, as various film producers and their respective studios engage in ever-escalating gamesmanship to score trophies for the “home team,” it is easy to lose why some films speak to our souls. I think I will be reflecting for some time on both Her and 12 Years a Slave – well after the gold statuettes are all handed out – and what these films say about our uniquely American condition: ambition, cruelty, love, segregation, prosperity, racism, sexism, ageism, apathy, and … freedom.