What do I know that matters?

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Public statements. I know for many of us that is our stock in trade as marketers. But with what feels like a never-ending stream of global, regional, local tragedies, the cascade of public statements starts to feel like a performative cycle.

If you are silent, if you respond too soon, if you respond too late, if you don’t thread the needle of compassion with enough specificity or too much vagueness, or if it seems too innocuous…you upset someone.

I’m told words matter. I believe actions when no one is looking matter more. And with so much heartache in the world, corporate statements from on high become some kind of ephemeral game, arguably helping no one in real life.

When you are in a leadership role, you feel this pressure even more acutely. And for those of us who are deeply empathetic and sensitive, it can become paralyzing.

What do I feel in this present moment? Absolute heartache. The images of innocent people trying to live their daily lives being ripped apart, physically and emotionally are horrifying beyond belief. I am bereft to be honest.

I could make a statement affirming that I abhor violence and terrorism. That would be absolutely true. But in this moment where personally my heart is at sea, I ask myself what good would my words do? Add some momentary comfort? Possibly.

What do I also know about public statements? Most of them go unread. After so much heartache and handwringing goes into creating them. And those that are read, never resonate in the way they are intended.

What do I know that matters? That you reach out to individuals in your life, people you know who are hurting, who are scared, who want to know they aren’t alone. My mother said tell people what they mean to you in the moment when it will mean something to them. Those words couldn’t ring truer for me right now. That’s what we all need to do.

The pressures you are all already under in your daily lives to do the good work you do, to take care of yourselves and your families, and to take care of each other, is daunting enough. But to then witness an hourly barrage of images that have us question our own humanity is too much to bear.

So, what can you do? Reach out to a friend, tell them you love them, share your feelings with them, donate to humanitarian organizations that are doing the impossible work of knitting lives back together… and most of all be kind.

Some of you will be happy with this note, some of you will be upset, some may seek commiseration online, some of you won’t read this at all. That is the nature of public statements. Public actions? Those matter.

Love you,

Roy

Roy Sexton

President

2023 LMA International Board of Directors

Director of Marketing
Clark Hill PLC

Thank you, EJ … we do this work together 💕

I went to lunch today … and bought a suit. And got a beautiful lesson in life.

I went to lunch today … and bought a suit.

File under: well-meaning things we say/do that land with a thud!

So today, I went a-wandering to grab lunch at this Indian food truck I’ve spied a few times. Paradise Street Eats & Biryani. I love Indian food and, given my recent bout of covid and the rampant increase of cases, I’ll be eating outside for a while. Until it snows. And then I’ll be in my basement.

Anywho, I walked back to the office a different path, and passed this store: Hot Sam’s Detroit. This suit was on a clearance rack out front. It spoke to me. Love the color. Love a bargain. Love … being impulsive. I grabbed it and walked inside.

I was in AWE of this store. Every bit of clothing was pure joy. I’ll likely go back. A lot.

I walked up to one of the dapper gentlemen running the store, and said, “How much is this?” Happy with the price, I said, “I’ll take it.”

As I waited to check out, we made some small talk. And here’s where my exuberance failed me.

I said, “This is such a cute store!” “Cute store,” he replied with that tone that suggested that wasn’t a desirable adjective. “Oh, I’m my mother’s son. That’s a high compliment for us!” Now feeling like I stepped in it, I added (unhelpfully), “How long have you been here?” He replied drily, “Since 1921.”

Now I’m feeling the flop sweat on my brow, and I kicked into overexplaining mode. “Well, I was just trying the Indian food truck.” He added, “It’s really good.” I replied, “So I don’t normally come down this way. And I’m from #Indiana originally. But I’ve lived here 25 years. I do live in Ann Arbor though. But I come to Detroit a couple days a week.”

At this point, he was getting pretty amused at this nut buying the suit in his store. He handed me his card. It read: “Tony Stovall, CEO/Co-Owner, Hot Sam’s Detroit.”

He added with grace and good humor, “Check us out on social media. And learn about who we are and what we do.” I said, “I sure will!” and took my Indian food and beautiful new suit, exclaiming, “I’ll be back.”

And then I did what he asked. And realized how sometimes we know absolutely nothing. And that we should pause and listen and learn to appreciate the history and good work around us.

Similarly, I’ll leave you to it to learn more. But DO take a moment and check out their website: https://hotsamsdetroit.com/.

Elegance personified. Community engagement. Leadership. Authenticity.

Ain’t nothing “cute” about that. That’s pure fire. And I’m proud to be a transplanted Detroiter … even if I do say well-meaning stupid things sometimes!

From Kat Kelly-Heinzelman via Susie Duncan Sexton: Families That We Make

Re-blogged from my mom Susie Duncan Sexton‘s blog, which can be found here. My mom writes …

To my friend/family Kat Kelly-Heinzelman:

Tears welling in my eyes, a smile on my face at the same time? What a poignant and revelatory essay, Kat!

Read “Families That We Make” here: https://lighthousekat.wordpress.com/2015/05/06/families-that-we-make/

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Your paragraphs about Roy and me moved me beyond words at a time I sorely needed a kind nod my way…I love people appreciating Roy even more than I vainly loved what you wrote about me!

Kat, I wonder if you realize what a good turn you just did for me and all those whom you mentioned and those whom you included without specific names. I totally believe in inclusion…and you are a champion at that skill! Your grace and kindness and humor receive an A + from this old former English teacher who no longer capitalizes and punctuates because I am all worn out.

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You are a tonic…a gin and tonic! We love you and feel that we have always been family…the three of us forever! Your losses have been mighty, and you have prevailed with a sunny spirit and a warm heart and a delightful candor.

Thanks for perking all of us up with your appreciation for and a description of the humans in your life. Humans can be as wonderful as every other species! (You knew that I would mention animals, right? they are my best friends as are you!)

____________________________

Reel Roy Reviews 2

Reel Roy Reviews 2

Reel Roy Reviews is now TWO books! You can purchase your copies by clicking here (print and digital) In addition to online ordering at Amazon or from the publisher Open Books, the first book is currently is being carried by Bookbound, Common Language Bookstore, and Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tea Room in Ann Arbor, Michigan and by Green Brain Comics in Dearborn, Michigan. My mom Susie Duncan Sexton’s Secrets of an Old Typewriter series is also available on Amazon and at Bookbound and Common Language.